you sabotage your relationships because you’re hurt
- Statistically, you're likely to be betrayed by another person 2-3 times in your life.
- What matters is that you feel as though you've been betrayed.
- parents getting a divorce
- you realize you've been cheated out of a normal childhood by selfish, spiteful parents
- A partner has been cheating on you.
- A friend decides to start defending someone who is clearly verbally/emotionally abusing you.
- a partner breaks a promise they made to you.
If you don't identify the loop your brain is running based on this experience you've had, then you will inevitably inject that trauma into your other relationships!!
If you've been betrayed, then --at the mere thought of the word “betrayal”-- you may feel like...
- “I can't trust anyone”
- You have a general angst that you can't shake
- “something is gonna go wrong”
- “my whole life has been shattered”
TLDR;
Betrayal is the past affecting the present. You feel so strongly, because some sort of choice that someone else made threw your perspective of the world out of balance. This caused your brain to automatically update it's understanding of the world through your core beliefs.
- Beliefs
- Predictions abt the beliefs
- Emotions abt the predictions
- Thinking abt the emotions
- Behavior after thinking
- Thinking abt the emotions
- Emotions abt the predictions
- Predictions abt the beliefs
beliefs are things that our brains think will keep us safe.
Liar: You:
(lies) (hurt by lies)
/ /
o o ← this sorta thing alters
/|\ /|\ your world view
/\ /\
≠-------------≠
| |
| Reality 🪟|------- ur 🧠 reducing
| | complexity in order to
≠-------------≠ understand reality
- ur brain percieves reality in 11 M I L L I O N bits/sec
- ur brain simplifies reality to ~50 bits/sec (about a single sentence worth)
- this is relevant, because your beliefs determine where your brain points that window to percieve reality through!
Betrayal is simply your brain forming a new belief based on new information!
Now, remember, your 🧠 forms beliefs that it thinks will keep you safe! But logic does NOT play a roll in this. In fact your brain likely forms a belief completely subconsciously, without ever consulting the pre-frontal cortex at all! (I think?)